When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize