youre lurking in front of me
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
