so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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