I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
