That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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