I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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