There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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