The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize