Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
