I just made out with a guy for $7.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
