I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
