Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
