wakey wakey hands off snakey
This girl is more easily done than said...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
50% drunk capacity currently
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
