Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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