dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
vagina is talking i cant
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I FOUND THE LEGS
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
