You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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