Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
