eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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