I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
