In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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