when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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