let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
