There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
