the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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