Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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