We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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