I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
