i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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