Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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