I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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