Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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