I think I died a long time ago.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
