Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
