these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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