Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
