you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
