Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
