Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
