Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
