I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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