Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize