I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is the high leading the old right now
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
