so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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