Old men and throwing up are my life now.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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