didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize