She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
