Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
