you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize