I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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