Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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