dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
