you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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