I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
