was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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