Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize