I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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