dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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