What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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