You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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