idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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