Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
