if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
