I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
whose parrot is this?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize