this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i need some magic done to my vagina
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
