I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize