that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
