he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
