At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
